세상 모르고 살았노라(BLIND) - The Midnight Romance(미나로)
MINUE - I'M NOT OK (Unreleased Original)
Smile - Nat King Cole (Cover by MINUE)
The Cramps - Goo Goo Muck (Official Audio)
It was going to be the best week of our lives, or so Sara's sister had told her on the drive there. Of course, Sara hadn't seen her sister in months. Sara had been abroad studying Italian food. She wasn't there for her sister Nina’s big breakup with longtime boyfriend Jonah.
Sure, they'd texted each other. Sara let Nina do all the texting and lashing out about her future husband. Sara didn't get it, but then again, she hadn't fallen in love with the quarterback that everyone loved in her hometown, either. She did her best to be supportive, and of course, it was Nina's idea to go to their grandparents' beach house, who were now in assisted living.
But once they went down that old familiar dirt road to get there, it felt so different. It wasn't the happy place Sara remembered with flowers and plants to welcome them. It was Papa’s laugh she missed, and the smell of Gram’s chocolate chip cookies.
"I don't know about this," Sara hesitated while unpacking.
"It'll be fun!" Her sister was in her cutoffs and a bikini top with a white shirt barely covering her. She was ready for the beach.
"Sure!" Sara faked a smile as if she were here for her sister. Sara was in her jeans, her favorite THE SMITHS tee, and sneakers. Sara tried to unlock the door, but it was already unlocked. "Nina, did you know about this?"
"What?" Her sister was in her little world of belongings, but Sara felt cold as if trouble was behind that door. Suddenly, she felt a jolt of panic.
"It's unlocked. Should we call someone?" Sara glared at her sister.
"Who would we call?" Her sister squinted. "Stop being paranoid."
She marched up the steps to the door and pushed it open. It was bright and sunny outside, but dark inside the beachhouse.
Sara remained even-tempered. Nina switched on the light, but there was no power.
"Are you serious?" Sara sighed. She'd brought pasta and fresh tomatoes to show off some of her cooking skills. Now they would have to make do with sausage sticks, tomatoes, a loaf of French bread, and olive oil.
"Oh, we'll survive," she said, pulling the curtains open to let in the sun. Still, Sara thought this was going to be a very long night, but she did her part, bringing in the luggage and seeing what she could do in the kitchen. At least there was running water, but it was cold.
"We could just camp on the beach tonight," her sister said with enthusiasm.
"Can we make it any more of a disaster than it already is?" Sara felt her true colors flaring. How could her sister be so congenial? Sara thought they should go into town and get a room. At least find a place to eat. Sara’s stomach grumbled. Nina hadn’t stopped for anything but to get here, and now Sara wasn’t sure if she could use the toilet without it exploding.
The place needed a lot of love, but Sara hadn’t packed for that.
"You've had it too good! You know that!" Nina snapped.
"What are you talking about?" Sara's straight-lip soured. "Did you know this would happen?"
Her sister hugged herself. "What if I did?" She snarled back.
"Well-" Sara’s brow furrowed. Did her sister hate her that much?
Nina was in a huff. She raked her fingers through her silky hair. "I'm supposed to be married."
Sara gritted. “I know you’re hurt, but isn’t it a good thing it happened now instead of later?”
Nina swelled a frown.
“I know you love this place, you always have.”
Sara knew Nina always felt free here. There was the beach, the sea breeze, and the waves. But Sara was certain they needed to find some help. This was not the way she wanted to spend the week with her sister.
“We’ll go to town,” Sara looped her arm around Nina’s. “We need to get the lock fixed and find out about the power. What’s going on here?” Sara put on her best smile. She hated it here, but she couldn’t let on. “Let's get some wine.”
“Now you’re talking,” her sister laughed.
“And I’ll drive,” Sara knew it was best if her sister let her be the navigator for a while.
Let's say I never spent a 4th of July quite like I did with Dakota. I've never been around that many friends either. It was good to be in a group. Of course, I had to see my ex and her new guy, too. But I don't think Dakota noticed. After all, Mia and I are strangers now. Although her new boy is a classmate and well..I didn't say hello to him, either. I just kept running with it with Dakota. I smiled at everything she said and just kept talking. Of course, we didn't hold hands. And I dunno if she would want to. What if I'm not her type?
I don't know. I'm in no hurry. If all we are are friends, that's a good thing, right?
There was a time I thought I might marry Mia. I don't know what got into me. There are so many obstacles that one doesn't even realise. Like my mother. And of course, trying to finish at the Uni to be in the medical program was suffocating. I know it was just a fantasy, thinking Mia would be the one.
Yes, it was an exhausting time, but I was so smitten with Mia. Now I am sure she is glad I gave it up. I wasn't much better than Ezra. Yeah, it makes me smile when I see how Ezra follows Fiona around like a loyal pup. I was that way to Mia, too.
Now I just take one day at a time. And these days, I don't have a whole lot of time to ponder, with the Complex and, of course, the rides at the carnival always needing me for something.
BTW, I hear the carnival will be going strong all the way into September. Usually, it goes on hiatus in August, but due to global warming and a surge in tourism, why not?
And I'm pleased I could help Dakota get that job. It looks like it's gonna happen. Of course, the director asked why I wasn't working there. I know I should, but I feel too busy as it is.
Still, it's good to have Dakota to talk to. I hope she'll like it at the assisted living place. And I hope we have more group outings too. Even if it's right here at the Complex
-Nav
It's gonna get better. I swear I'm gonna be better. I have. Yeah, I know, not much of a mantra, but I know I worried Dakota.
God knows, what she thinks of me now. Why! Why, oh why! Did I even tell her about Austin (squints eyes shut) I think that's his name. I don't know anymore. I don't know anything anymore. Yeah, that's the ticket. Keep telling myself this shit. I'll probably never see him anyway..so who cares. Right?
This past week has been endless. I made sure to use the alarm on my phone like Dakota said. She's got it all figured out. And I did pick up some yogurts from the Complex building, where people drop off free stuff they don't want anymore. It's not exactly a food pantry, but sort of. And that's helped. Personally, I wonder if Dakota dropped off the yogurt. [I should not be worried about this shit..I know I sound like I have a split personality or something..but really I don't. I swear.]
REMINDER: START A SWEAR JAR! [Do I have to do that? I really can't afford it.]
Anyway...the 4th was pretty sweet. Friends showed up. Dakota and Nav. Of course, Ezra, and we met these sisters along the way to the boardwalk, and we hung out. You know, talked about shit at the complex how those old Golden Girls keep asking us over, but we never go.
It was a great start to the evening. I ate junk food and watched Ezra try to wow me with his winning streak. Yeah, I just got the tokens. It added up. I got a big bottle of wine. Of course, I was very responsible. I made him carry it home. And it's in the fridge. I promised I would just keep it there. You know, see how long I can keep it without drinking it. [I saw something like that in a K-drama, so I'm gonna try it.]
It was Ezra's keen idea since he's not old enough to legally drink. Oh, the things he talks me into. I know he'd rather I'd just taken all those little stuffed animals, but that's not me. He should be happy that He didn't have to carry that jug of wine to the Ferris Wheel. I tried not to be bossy, but it didn't last long.
I know I should be nicer. Kinder. He puts up with a lot of shit with me, but I just don't want us to get too close. I just know some nerdy girl has her eye on him, and I would hate for him to miss out on that. I think, anyway. Maybe.
But he was so Ezra. Now that I think about it, maybe he's been talking to Dakota. The two of them would never just hang out. Together. Right?
It would have been the perfect night, but then my mom called when I got home. She told me about my cousin Cody. She said he died of an overdose. I have not seen him since..oh God.. so many Christmases ago at my grandparents. I was so sad to hear about him. I was so worried he'd gotten washed away in one of those flooded rivers in Texas because he lived in Kerrville. So, yeah, I wasn't myself, and I know Ezra was afraid that I would be alone with the wine.
I didn't know Cody well. And now that my parents are split up because mom stopped taking her bipolar meds, things aren't like they used to be.
I know, I could be living with my Dad right now, but he needs to be alone, and I'm afraid he wants me on meds, too.
I don't even know what Cody's addiction was, or even where it happened. Maybe I shouldn't know.
So..so Ezra spent the night. This meant, squeezing together so we could both watch JAWS I and II on my laptop. Yeah, maybe not the best idea.
-Fiona