Saturday, January 14, 2012

50 things we've learned after watching CARRIERS

They say the world might end in 2012 according to the works of Nostradamus. So if you've watched Zombieland way to many times, there is always CARRIERS which might be more of a drama than horror. Starring Chris Pine and Lou Taylor Pucci as brothers with their girlfriends  (Piper Perabo & Emily VanCamp) out on a cross country trip going nowhere. The premise is about a pandemic. To some its rather unsettling. Others wished it would have been a longer movie. And you'll find a few who have found it the most under-rated movie around.

1. Men want sex at any cost.

2. When you notice that one of your friends stops wearing a mask... Look in to it!

3. When your child has to go #2, try harder to talk her into waiting or doing it closer to the vehicle when you have young people standing around waiting to abandon you.

4. Bleach gets rid of human killing viruses.

5. If this ever happens to us, our bodies will be wrapped up and thrown in a garbage truck (good to know)

6. Tell your bf if you catch a virus that could infect and kill him as well.

7. Make sure you bring your own gun in case some douche thinks he owns everyone and wants to point the gun around to get his way.

8. Don't go near a swimming pool.

9. Don't climb or go in through the top window of a house.

10. Don't interrupt a dog while it's "eating".

I drive. And wait for a storm to come and wash us all away. But it doesn’t. It’s a beautiful day, and it shouldn’t be a beautiful day. I wait, but nothing happens to me. And for the first time, I feel like I’m alone in the world. We made it. Two strangers with nothing left to say… I do not know what’s going to happen. I do not know how long I will live. But I know I will be alone.
Danny, Carriers.

11. If you're infected and your with others who were more then willing to abandon the other infected people, don't fall asleep with the gun in your hand, because your snot nose little brother will take it.

12. When your brother does take the gun and you have the keys, throw the keys in the fire because hes gonna shoot you anyways.

13. Religious ladies will not help you when the world is coming to an end. They would literally rather die.

14. Never turn your car off when a stranger's vehicle is blocking the road in the middle of nowhere.

15. Be aware that when you say "Don't come any closer"... one of your car windows is about to get messed up!

16. You are the exception to your own rules.

17. Don't drink warm beer... it tastes like PISS!

18. When Brian says "Get out", refrain from hearing the words "Get in the back" because no matter how much he loves you, he will still drag your ass out of the car and drive off into the sunset.

19. If an epidemic breaks out and all the people die, there will be always someone who will maintain golf courses.
Sometimes choosing life is just choosing a more painful form of death.
Carriers (film)

20. Animals can't be infected with the deadly virus.

21. Only two girls are enough to be trade with a man in a suit.

22. Your parents gun has unlimited ammo.

23. Watch out for the desert, people get shot there.

24. Even viruses which don't easily spread can wipe out the whole earth.
25. It is a great idea to drive a massive SUV during a gas shortage despite having only 4 people and basically no luggage.

26. Always help out cute or innocent-looking toddlers, even if they show signs of or are infected...

27. When the phones are dead that means the phones are dead, wiping them won't bring them back to life..

28. Blondes are not stupid, they are just REALLY mean bitches.

30. No one is a Chosen One..

31. When you're fleeing a pandemic you don't need to drink or eat anymore, air is a good nutrient.

32. Life will be OK even if you've just killed your elder brother to save your own ass, your memories of him will be blocked in a few minutes, so not to worry..

33. Preemptive "sex" strike will be a good starting point when you and your friend (girl)are going to be the only two survivors; " can we have some sex Now?"

34. When a pandemic hits, not only human deads will disappear, so will ALL cars..!

35. Lots and lots of Potassium Kills!

36. The cheapest type of masks is a the perfect protection against a highly contagious air-borne virus. (If true it makes you think: how could a lame-ass virus managed to wipe out human race!?)

37. Bury, do not cremate, cremation in the wild is not as good as the one in the crematory.
 38. Good Christian Ladies don't share Gas.

 39. Sand is *beep*

 40. In life threatening situations, its always cool to have a game of Property Vandalizing Golf.

41. That Alsatian has already become a typecast post-apocalyptic movies specialist - first he died for Will Smith in I am Legend, now in this role he gets shot by a wimp.
 42. Maternal instincts will get you killed... EVERY time.
(i.e. Dawn of the Dead, Quarantine, 28 Weeks Later...)

43. The guard died because he didn't follow the protocols.

44. Golf isn't only for old people.

45.If you're a total b**** and you and your friend are in a position where one of you has to shoot his brother, make him shoot his own brother, instead of being a half way decent human being and offering to shoot him yourself.    

46. During a massive pandemic, it's still funny to f' with the driver even though he's likely to lose control of the automobile and when a working set of wheels is the most vital thing you have.

47. Large mile long oil slicks coming from your car are not visible if you just simply avoid looking out of your rear-view mirror.

48. Redneck hunters with lights on their trucks apparently have horrible eyesight and can't see a blazing fire in the desert 100 yards directly in front of them

49. Always make sure when entering any building that you scream "hello" as loud as possible even though you are likely to attract the people with the plague you are so desperately trying to avoid.

50. When trying to avoid a deadly plague always make sure the diving board works over the biohazzard pool that under non-plague circumstances you wouldn't come within 50 yards of.




Cafe Fashionista said...

Gah! This movie looks insanely creepy! :)

meg said...

Some of these are so funny.

Sara said...

This was funny to read, but ick! No way could I watch this!