OC RP Dakota

 Dakota hadn't meant to leave so abruptly. But Ezra was a no-show at Taco Night.

"Let me bring it to him," Dakota excused herself, saying she wasn't feeling all so well. She was tired. Nav understood, but Han looked at her as if she were up to something. "I'll drop off the tacos for Ezra. You two eat."

She forced her biggest smile, thinking she'd left Ezra in limbo, evidently. She hadn't meant to. She knew he needed to know the truth. And she knew she'd let this go on far too long. Why hadn't she just told everyone as soon as she saw them? It felt as if she should have worn a T-shirt with the truth, but it wasn't easy. It never would be.

So she left the two crunching on tacos. Nav didn't seem to mind. He would be the hardest to tell. She knew that. She kept putting it off, but hurried on her way to Ezra's before she could stop herself from telling him everything.

Of course, his stunned look when she saw him at his place was terribly disappointing, but she knew she had to go on. Somehow.

"I thought you might be hungry," Dakota smiled.

"I dunno." He shrugged back, taking the tacos and a bag of chips and salsa to put on the counter by the stove.

Dakota couldn't help but sigh. It felt like the golden moment, and she needed to do it quick.

"I think.."

"What?" He looked at her as if she were being evasive, and maybe she was. Really, it was old news. But it was something she was very tired of saying.

She cleared her throat and took a deep breath.

"I like you."

His eyes lit as if he was surprised.

"But..but you aren't going to like what I have to say."

Now he cleared his throat as if he was ready for the truth.

She looked around his little space. She knew Han was invading it, and maybe Ezra should just stay at her place for the night. She shook her head. She knew that was totally insane. After all, he didn't know the truth. Not just yet. 

And yet she wanted to linger in this moment. Seeing his place. Probably for the last time.

"Are you going to tell me or not?" His serious eyes made her squirm just a little.

"Don't you want to eat?" She looked at him a bit bug-eyed. 

"Just tell me?" He looked as if it would be the end of everything. And maybe it was.

"I don't want to mislead you," she finally said.

"OK. I got it." He sighed as if she were the one prolonging the agony.

She couldn't look at him. She focused on a pillow on the couch by the window. She really wished she could sit down, but why should she? Her fingers intertwined as she pressed her lips tight.

"I ..I used to be a guy."

This instantly cracked up Ezra. She wasn't expecting it. She blew a breath. "It was a while ago, OK."

"OK." He nodded, even lipped.

"Do you hate me? Are  you mad at me?" She finally looked at him blankly, and he had no reply.

She scrunched her eyes. "I'm not like..you know..how people are trying to decide who they are, or anything. It was one of those things I ..I was born with...I don't know.. It's just." Her fingers moved to her eyes. Oh, how she wished she could poke her eyes out and never have to discuss this with a human being again, but she'd kissed Ezra, and she'd liked it. And she hated the thought of being so dishonest.

"I dunno, I know I'm all wrong for you. And..and can you forgive me?"

Dakota knew she was going to cry,  but he embraced her first, and somehow, she didn't feel so alone.